Kristen Bailey comes to the blog today with a laugh out loud (Truly – you will) story of a marriage now ten years in with
Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
Meg and Danny have been together ten years, with three little girls under 7, a dog named Mr. T, a postman named Pat (truly) and a rather ‘bleh’ sex life. Between kids, work, the daily sameness and more than a bit of “comfortableness’ with one another – things have hit a rut. Until the postman delivers a large package containing a sparkly, blue, very large dildo, and the reporter in Meg goes investigating.
Starting off a bit slow where the “southern girl” Meg meets Danny and his brother, and the ensuing relationship and marriage. What wasn’t in the cards as she loved her job as an editor of a fashion magazine and the stories she did – was to move to the Lakes District where Danny takes over the family paper business and reconnects with literally (it feels) everyone he knew, dated, shagged or even wronged growing up in the area. And he and his younger brother were boys into everything. Aside from the double-take that Meg does repeatedly with the Northern slang and peculiar verb tenses, and her questions (or questioning ) nature. And having worries that Danny is ‘playing away’ for excitement, that she’s not enough – things take several twists. There were reasons that she married Danny: his charm or ability to share were not among them – but slowly, and together, after a few missteps and a giant stuffed animal wearing a strap on, the story twists and turns to bring them ever closer together, even as she sees (and understands) just how unhappy Danny is running the Paper Factory – but he’s the type to do what is right for everyone else first.
With a sketchbook full of drawings, a bounty offered for the identity of an artist with a half-million followers on social media, letters with offers of money, contracts and fame – the two must find a way to come together and balance the ‘secret’ that Meg, the world’s worst secret keeper, and Danny now share – oh and did I mention younger brother stepping up to help with childcare – and using his very brilliant brain – before he dashed off on yet another ‘adventure’ sans job to provide another person to bounce ideas off, as well as keeping them both protected. There were parts where tears were running down my face, I was laughing so hard: the Captain Mintcake secret, the very honest portrayal of Meg’s worries, her often slapstick sort of family and being bailed out of the local by Dan’s mother (who was NOT pleased, mind) brought their struggles and their bond to the forefront of the story- and you felt and believed every moment. If only every marriage or relationship in a bit of trouble had the ability to stop and regroup, with plenty of laughter, support and a few missteps – to move on.
Beware – those of you who don’t appreciate sex – talking about it, referring to it, swearing, discussion of bits and bobs – this should be a miss for you – understand that Meg knows that her husband and brother-in-law are like 12 year old boys chatting about girls – with no adults about.
Title: Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?
Author: Kristen Bailey
Genre: Contemporary Woman's Fiction, Family Saga, Friendship, Humor elements, Romantic Elements, Second Chance, Setting: Britain, Small Town, Witches
Published by: Bookouture
Published on: 14 February, 2020
Source: Publisher via NetGalley
Heat: Get Your Copy: Amazon ♦ Barnes&Noble ♦ iTunes ♦ Kobo ♦ Google
It’s normal for your washing machine to get more action than you, right?
I wake up, bleary-eyed.
It’s been two years, six months and three hours since I last shaved my legs, and the llama-patterned knickers I’m wearing have seen better days.
We have seven minutes before the kids wake up, and my husband shuffles closer. ‘Ouch,’ he says, a piece of Lego sticking into his back.
Then, a light comes on in the landing. Small footsteps creep down the stairs. A little voice screams, ‘IS SOMEONE COMING TO MAKE BREAKFAST?!’
All hopes of having some ‘alone time’ is replaced with wondering if we’ve run out of Cheerios, thinking about the overflowing laundry, and remembering that I forgot to take out the recycling. Again.
Just a typical Monday morning for the Morton family…
Except today, when I go downstairs in my dressing gown, I find something. Something belonging to my husband. Something that definitely wasn’t mentioned in the wedding vows. And it’s either going to make us… or break us.
A copy of this title was provided via Publisher via NetGalley for purpose of honest review. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.